Singles from Vampire Weekend’s Contra
AU The Fault In Our Stars where Hazel Grace succumbs to the cancer and dies and in the last scene all you see is Augustus standing out side with a cigarette between his lips and a hand slowly reaching up to light it.
HOW ABOUT NO
WOW I DIDNT KNOW SOMETHING COULD BE WORSE THAN THE ACTUAL ENDING NOPE BYE
annoying online and irl
why is this dude wasting his fucking money on cigs when hes not gonna smoke em your fucking metaphor isnt worth that much homie get a job
Whoever runs the Taco Bell twitter is pretty cool.
So a while back i was at this party and i was the first girl to arrive and there were like 20 guys already there, we were all siting around, having a beer and whatnot when the dj arrived. So all the guys went out the front of the house to help set up the dj gear and it was just me sitting there alone in the backyard for like 5 minuets. I stood up to go follow them bc i was getting really bored when i realized something, my period had gone through my white pants and stained the while chair, i was humiliated, i had no idea what to do, i could hear the guys were coming back and i had to do something quick, time was running out. So i grabbed the chair, ran like 10 meters and threw it over the fence into the neighboring yard, i quickly walked back and tied my jacket around my waist. The guys soon returned and didn’t suspect a thing, i am amazing.
for chinese new year they get all these famous actors and comedians together and they do a lil show and one of the comedians was like “i was in a hotel in america once and there was a mouse in my room so i called reception except i forgot the english word for mouse so instead i said ‘you know tom and jerry? jerry is here’
jerry is here
Some of my snapchats~
have you thought of capitalising on your skills
life is a struggle
his jacket is a metaphor of my existence
MY FAVORITE POST
PLEASE TELL ME THAT PEOPLE IN BRITAIN ACTUALLY CALL THE USA “THE COLONIES”
Nah, it’s what we call the rest of the world, because most of the time, it’s accurate.
usualy when we say america it’s followed by a sigh and an eyebrow roll
an eyebrow roll